096. The Sharp[ening] General (El General Afilado)
A soldier coming from Cuba passed by a house next to the road he was on and [he] approached it to knock on the door. A man who had been in Cuba before him came out to open the door and, taking advantage of the coincidence, he [the soldier] asked for lodging for the night.
In an oversight of the other, the soldier, who was also a thief, got his hands on a ham that seemed appetizing and hid it in the knapsacks he carried with him. After this, they had dinner and began to talk about the war in Cuba, and to tell one another all sort of lies about the acts of valor they had accomplished in those lands. And the soldier, who was also a jokester, said to the owner of the house:
– Well, now that I think of it, surely you must remember the time when the general Ham entered the town of Knapsacks.
And the other said:
– Well, you know, I don’t remember this. It must be because I was not present when that happened.
– Well, if you were not present, chances are you were a recruit [back then] and didn’t even know about it.
So they finished their chat and went to bed. And the owner of the house, who could not sleep, began to think about what the soldier had said, as no matter how many times he thought about it, he could not recall such a general nor such a town. But, as he continued to ponder, he finally realized what that scoundrel had meant to say.
So he got out of bed, went to search in the knapsacks of the soldier, took out the ham which the other had hidden there and put in its place a grindstone (whetstone, for sharpening knives).
When they got up the following morning, the owner of the house said to the soldier:
– Listen, you, now I have remembered what you told me last night. It’s true that I was a [raw] recruit, and quite a novice, when general Ham entered Knapsacks; but when I was a veteran, general Ham left and general Sharpening entered.
The soldier threw the knapsacks over his shoulder and went away happily, feeling the weight that he was carrying and licking his lips with pleasure at the thought of the ham. And so he came across a tavern, entered and said to the hostess:
– Let’s see, bring me some bread, wine, and a large knife!
With them, he broke off a good piece [chunk] of the bread, reached into his knapsacks… and took out the whetstone. The hostess then said to him:
– What? What do you want this knife for?
And the distressed soldier replied:
– Well… to sharpen it.
—– VOCABULARY —–
Afilado – (cutting) sharp; (edged) pointed; (hurtful) cutting, sharp; (act of making sharp) sharpening
Afilar – to hone, to sharpen
Alforja – (bag) saddlebag (for mount); knapsack (backpack)
Apesadumbrado – sorrowful, sad, distressed
Apetitoso – (inviting) appetizing, tempting, mouth-watering; (good-looking) attractive
Bromista – (person who jokes around) jokester; (prone to making jokes) joker
Charla – (conversation) chat; (conference) talk
Echar mano – (often used with “de”) to fall back on; to make use
Hecho – (reality) fact; (event) incident; (to be done) made, done; (finished) ready
Jamón – (culinary) ham; (anatomy) thigh
Llevar a cabo – (to implement) to carry out, to execute, to accomplish, to perform
Novato – (naive) inexperienced, green; (trainee) rookie, beginner, novice
Piedra de afilar – grindstone
Recluta – (military) recruit; (compulsorily enlisted soldier) conscript
Registrar – (to check out) to search; (to make an official record of) to register, to record
Relamer – (to lick again) to lick repeatedly
Sinvergüenza – (impudent person) shameless, cheeky; (despicable person) swine, rogue, scoundrel
Taberna – (establishment) tavern (old-fashioned), bar, inn (old-fashioned), pub