099. The Three Friends (Los Tres Amigos)
[Note: This is my second attempt at translating this story. My first was inadvertently overwritten a few minutes before publishing =( I’m reminding myself to never use ‘Ctrl-Z’ prior to publishing…. And this happened on one of the longest stories I’ve translated thus far too!]
Once there were three odd friends: a gypsy, an ironmonger, and a deserter. All three had this in common: that they were doing well in life and had plenty to eat at home. But one day the ironmonger said to the other two:
– We should go on adventures to all parts of the world that [in which] God had created.
And the deserter chimed in:
– Well, let’s go on our adventures.
And without waiting any longer, they left their homes that very day and set out. The thing is that as they had never been hungry [in their life] before, they left with such calmness, having hands in pockets [not carrying anything], and of course, [only] after half a day they were already feeling the hunger in their stomach.
And the gypsy said:
– Well I’m not hungry or anything. [But] it looks like we didn’t remember to bring any food from home…
And the deserter said:
– Let us keep on walking to see what we can find to eat.
[So] They continued walking and arrived at a grove of very tall and spread out oaks, where it seemed that they have been there for hundreds of years. And the gypsy climbed up one of them, for they all have very strong branches; and he climbed up to the top to see if he could see any light, or anything. And yes, in the distance he saw a light and they determined to head toward there because the night was [fast] upon them.
The gypsy got down from the oak tree and they all started walking in the direction of the light. But now, where they were going was full of brambles and thorns, so much so that it was almost impossible to advance. And when they had already walked a good distance, they saw the light shining much closer. They came to it, and it was a large fire which burned in front of the door to a house, so they circled it and knocked on the door. They knocked and knocked but no one answered them, in view of which they decided to enter the house because they did not have any other place to go and it was [already] dark.
They entered the house and looked around, but found no one. They went around the house again to see if they could find something to eat, as the three of them were weak [from hunger]. But [there was still] nothing.
The gypsy [then] said:
– We should sit here by the stove [fire], which is burning.
[And] The deserter said:
– Let’s sit down, and may it be what God wills.
The three friends [then] sat down, and after a while, the ironmonger said:
– It’s better that we go. What are we doing here, with nothing to eat?
And well, they got up to leave; but lo and behold, on searching for the door they could not find it anywhere, that everything was a wall and nothing but a wall. And the deserter then said:
– Let us sit down one more time, because with the hunger that we have, we can no longer even see the door.
After a short time of sitting there and being half asleep, at a time when nothing was more valuable than sleep, a table appeared between them three. The three of them were scared to death, and on seeing that no one had placed it there, they thought that someone had entered through the door. So they went for a walk, to see if the door had now opened; and as they did not find it, they returned to sit down in the same place. And after a short while, three plates, three spoons, and a glorious smelling stew appeared on the table. And the deserter said:
– And this? Is it for us?
The gypsy [then] said:
– Whether it is or it is not, here we will eat it.
They began to eat and did not stop until the plates were left as if there had been nothing in them. Then a black hand appeared and removed the table; after which it came with three cigars, one for each of the three; and the gypsy said:
– Come on, what does a cigar want now, are they for us?
The deserter said:
– Whether they are or are not, here we will smoke them.
They smoked the cigars with pleasure, and when they had finished, three lights were lit and they saw that the lights illuminated three beds that were already prepared. And they said to one another:
– And these beds? Are they for us, being sleepy that we are?
The ironmonger said:
– Whether they are or are not, let us lie down [in them].
So they headed to bed and immediately the three lights went out. With all that had happened to them, none of them could sleep even though they were dead tired. At this, they heard something cooking [boiling] on the stove; it was boiling and boiling, and one [of them] said:
– We must peek out to see what it is.
The fact is that none of them dared to get up, as they were already very frightened by all that had happened to them. But lo and behold, suddenly, they felt that which was boiling was getting closer to one of the beds, the one belonged to the gypsy; the gypsy thought in getting up and running off, but he dared not and wrapped himself under the sheets; but he left one eye peeking out and saw that which was boiling was next to him. Then he thought that it was a prank from the other two and began to call them out, saying that this was not the night to pull pranks. He searched for the light but could not find it, and at this moment, that which sounded like boiling began to fall on his head and it was boiling oil, and on seeing that it was burning, he jumped out of bed screaming. And the oil followed him to wherever he went and it was no use to him to run from one side to another. When he was well burnt by the oil, the black hand grabbed him, gave him an ointment, put him in bed, and tucked him in snugly.
The same thing happened with the deserter and the ironmonger, who were left well burnt and the black hand [then] gave them the ointment, put them in bed, and tucked them in snugly.
The next morning, tired and rash-burnt [sore], they got up and saw that the same fire was still burning as [in] the night before. They walked around searching for the door to see if they could leave, but there was no such door, so that they sat themselves next to the stove [again]. The black hand [then] appeared and served them a good breakfast of eggs and ham.
And the deserter said:
– How long will they keep us here without opening the doors?
Said the gypsy:
– Well don’t you believe it, but they take good care of us during the day.
Said the ironmonger:
– During the day, yes; but at night is when we go through the big stuff.
Anyway, they were talking about this when the black hand appeared, brought them three cigars and they smoked them with pleasure.
They then went back to search for the door, but [there was] nothing, that there was no way to find it; the gypsy announced that, if they found a mouse hole, [and] just that, he promised to leave the house and [will come back] later to take them out; but [there was] not even that, as they did not discover even the smallest hole [in the house].
At noon, the black hand served them a hearty meal accompanied by good wine, and when they finished, picked up [cleared] the table and brought them each a cigar.
And then came the dreaded hour of the night, and well dreaded because of what had happened to the three friends the night before with the boiling oil.
And the same thing the next day: they had their three meals, smoked their three cigars, and after going to bed the boiling oil fell on them and the black hand gave them the ointment and put them to bed.
They got up more tired and rash-burnt than ever, and they were having breakfast when they felt a door opened and then the force [sound] of its closing. So, just as they were, they ran to see where it had been and lo and behold!, there was no door, no nothing.
So they sat down again wondering how long this ordeal would last, and at this moment, they saw three nice girls coming towards them, with each one of them hugged one of the three friends. As they were so rash burnt, they told them to move out of the way and leave them in peace; but the girls responded by saying that they should state all that they want, and that they would give them everything. The three friends said that the only thing that they wanted was to get out of there, that they had already spent enough time in that house.
The girls then told them that, thanks to them, they had come out of the curse in which they had been in for a long time and that, if they stayed with them, each would marry his partner; but the three wary friends were not in the mood for either weddings or baptisms and told them no, thank you very much, that they wanted to leave at all cost. Then the door opened and the three, without thinking twice, ran away.
The girls, who were amused at the fear they had, called them back to give them a souvenir.
She who liked the gypsy gave him as souvenir a cloak and a pouch and said to him:
– When you want to go wherever far away, you need only say “Cloak, to such and such [place]” and the cloak would carry you to wherever you want; and [as] for the pouch, when you need money, just say “Pouch, full and empty.”
She who likes the ironmonger gave him a four-cornered hat and told him that each [corner] was one thing: a rifle, a crossbow, a cannon, and a pistol.
She who liked the deserter gave him a guitar and told him:
– When you want someone dancing on his head, with the feet up and the head down, you need only play this, and until you stop [playing] that person will continue dancing.
The three friends thanked them for the presents and the girls took the opportunity to insist that they did not leave and stayed to live with them, that they would have a splendid life and would not lack anything; but the three [friends] said to leave them alone, that they have spent enough time in that house and that they did not want to hear about it again. So that, without paying any more attention to them, they left the way they had come and the girls remained crying for them at the door of the house.
So the three friends finally decided to continue on the way they had started at the beginning of their adventure. And they had already gone a long way when they felt hungry again. And at that moment they came to an orchard which was filled with fruit trees laden with fruits, and without hesitating once, they entered and ate those fruits like fools. Until two old men, who were guarding the orchard, appeared, and they told them to leave there [immediately]. The the deserter said:
– Let’s see, we are now going to test if what the girl said about the guitar is really true.
He began to play it and the two poor elderly men started to dance on their heads, with their feet up above and their heads down below. When the three got tired of seeing them dance, the old men had their heads nearly flayed from dancing like that. The three friends left them collapsed there and continued on their way. They walked and walked and finally arrived at the palace of the king in that region.
When they saw the palace, they thought that they could build a better and more luxurious one than that. And the gypsy said:
– Pouch, full and empty.
No matter how many times he said it, the pouch was filled with gold and they gathered so much between the three of them that they built a house made from gold in front of the king’s palace. And when they were finishing up the roof, the queen looked out and was left so impressed to see the house that she went to the king and said to him:
– You know that they had built a house made of gold in front of our palace that you yourself cannot put together?
Be quiet, woman – said the king-. How is it possible that someone can build a house finer than my palace if I am the richest man in the kingdom?
The queen took another look to convince herself and then asked the king to do so as well, so that he was going to see it with his own eyes. The king peeked out and saw that it was true that they were building a house made of gold. And he said to the queen:
– Well, do you know that you are right? We must catch [arrest] the owners of that golden house.
He called for a servant and told him to gather ten well-armed men and present themselves before him; when they had done so, the king told them:
– You are eleven men against three; they must be very well-armed and strong if they could handle you all.
[Note: how does the king know that there are three? I thought they haven’t met yet!]
Those eleven went in search of the three, and when they found them, they told them to accompany them to the presence of the king. The three said no, that if the king wanted something from them, then he’d come to see them [himself]. Then the servant and the guards got really mad and went to apprehend them, but the ironmonger put on his hat, and began to shoot bullets and arrows at them without stopping and put them to flight in a [short] moment.
So when the king saw them returned, he told them that they were cowards and that this time he would lead them at the front to teach them [a lesson]. So off they all went to search for the three friends. When they saw them coming, headed by the king, the deserter said:
– Look, now the king is coming with them. Well I believe that we are going to have a little fun.
He began to play the guitar and they all, the king, the servant, and the ten soldiers, began to dance on the top of their heads and there was no way to stop them. The deserter was playing and playing until he got tired and stopped playing and the twelve men fell to the ground all dizzy and with their heads half flayed. Finally, between the servant and the soldiers they carried the king back [to the palace], where he was not able to get out of bed for at least six days.
At the end of those six days of convalescence, the king decided to write a letter to the three friends in which he told them that he had three daughters of greatest beauty, and they were eager in getting to know them, and that they should go to the palace to see them and he [the king] would attend to them personally. He sent the servant with the letter, and the servant was scared to death in case that they picked up the guitar once more and made him dance like the other time. He came to the door and the gypsy, who saw him coming shaking like a leaf, said:
– Well, we’ll let him in to see what is it that this fool brings us this time.
They let him in, but as soon as he dropped off the letter, he ran away in such a way that they lost sight of him in less time than it took to say it.
The three friends opened the letter and after reading it, the gypsy said:
– It’s best if we go one by one, lest they do something bad to us. I will go first.
So he went to the palace and presented himself to the king, who received him with much attention and took him to the garden, where his daughter was waiting for him. The gypsy went down to the garden and there was his [the king’s] daughter, who was very blond and very beautiful. The princess took the gypsy by the arm and they were walking here and there, and each corner of the garden seemed to the gypsy more grown [with flowers] and fragrant than the previous one as they strolled [through them] together. At this, the princess said to the gypsy:
– Oh, what a beautiful cloak you’re wearing, could I show it to my papá?
The gypsy, who now had eyes only for her, gave it to her and the princess sent it to her father. The two continued strolling through the garden when suddenly, in a gazebo, three soldiers appeared and apprehended the gypsy with the man unable to do anything to defend himself, and they took him to, and locked him up in one of the palace dungeons.
After this, the princess came running to the king and told him:
– Now there are only two left.
The king then sent a servant to tell the ironmonger that his friend, the gypsy, and he were waiting for him in the palace, and as a token of trust, they were sending him the pouch which the gypsy always carried on him so that they could see that he was so comfortable and having an enjoyable time in the palace with the princess. The ironmonger took his hat and the pouch and went to the palace in search of his friend, [where] the king presented his daughter to him and the same thing happened to him as the gypsy, and he ended up in another dungeon of the palace. And the king had the same course of action for the deserter, who came with his guitar; and with this, as he was the last one, the princess didn’t even want to see him; they apprehended him at the very gates to the palace, stripped him of his guitars, and without further ado, they threw him into a dungeon.
In this way the king was left with the cloak, the pouch, the hat, and the guitar. He took possession of the riches of the three friends and they, in turn, never left the dungeons, where they never stopped longing for the three girls who had given them those gifts.
And here ends this tale with bread and one-eyed radish.
[Note: Original Spanish text is “Y aquí se acaba este cuento con pan y rábano tuerto.”]
—– VOCABULARY —–
Adormilado – dozy, drowsy, sleepy, half asleep
Agujero – (opening) hole; (commerce) deficit, hole, shortfall
Al cabo de – after; at the end of
Alumbrar – (to give light to) to light, to light up, to illuminate; (to clarify) to shed light on
A medida que – (time) as
Amoscar – to shake off the flies; to become irritated
Apagar – (to disconnect) to turn off, to switch off, to put out
Apartarse – (to remove oneself) to move out of the way; (to distance oneself) to get away
A pearse (de) – (to get down, used with “de”) to get off, to get out of, to alight from
Apetecer – (to want) to feel like; (to be appealing) to feel like, fancy
Apoderarse – to seize, to take possession of
Arrebujar – (to bundle up) to wrap up; (to jumble up) to bundle up
Arrojar – (to fling) to throw, to hurl (with force); (to generate) to produce
Arropar – (to put to bed) to tuck in, to tuck up; (to cover up with clothes) to wrap up
Atender – (to care for) to look after, to deal with, to take care of; (to provide a service to) to attend to
A toda costa – at all costs
Avanzar – (to go forward) to advance, to move forward; (to improve) to progress
Bala – bullet
Ballesta – (weaponry) crossbow; (mechanics) spring
Bautizo – (religious) christening, baptism; (celebration) christening party, baptism party
Broma – (farce) joke, prank, practical joke
Calabozo – (castle cell) dungeon; (prison) jail
Cañón – (weaponry) cannon, gun; (tube) pipe, barrel (of a gun)
Capa – (sleeveless garment) cape, cloak; (covering) layer; (class) sector
Cobarde – (person who lacks courage) coward; (faint-hearted) cowardly, timid
Cocer – (culinary) to cook, to boil; (to cook in the oven) to bake
Como tontos – as fools, like fools, foolish, fools, as idiots
Comprometerse – (to pledge to do something) to commit oneself, to promise
Cuchara – (tableware) spoon; (measure) spoonful
Dar la gana – to feel like it, to please, to like
De repente – (all at once) suddenly, all of a sudden
Derrengar – (to turn) to bend, to twist; derrengarse – (to faint) to collapse
Desertor – (military) deserter; (politics) defector
Desfallecido – weak
Despojar de – (to take away) to strip, to divest, to rob; despojarse de – to undress; to renounce
Disparar – (to discharge) to shoot, to fire; (sports) to shoot, to take;
Divisar – (to detect) to make out, to spot, to spy, to sight
Encina – (botany) holm oak, ilex; (material) ilex wood
Enfadarse de verdad – really get angry
Escaldado – (cautious) wary, chastened
Escocido – with rash
Espina – (botany) thorn (of a rose), prickle (of a cactus); (anatomy) spine; (of fish) bone
Estofado – (culinary) stew, hotpot
Exponer – (to uncover) to expose; (to set forth) to explain, to expound, to state; (to endanger) to risk
Flechas – arrows
Fogón – (cooking equipment) stove, woodstove
Frutal – (botany) fruit tree
Fuga – (getaway) escape, jailbreak, elopement (of lovers); (leakage) leak
Fusil – (weapon) rifle, gun
Gitano – gypsy
Glorieta – arbor; (park) square, circus; (automobile) roundabout
Gorro – (clothing) hat, cap, bonnet (for babies)
Guitarra – guitar
Hala – (used to show support) (Spain) Come on! Let’s go! Go!; (used to express surprise) Wow!
Huerta – produce farm, truck farm, market garden
Hoja – (botany) leaf, blade
Jornada – (period of work) working day, shift; (period of time) day; (trip lasting a day) day’s journey
Juntar – (to place together) to put together; (finance) to save, to raise
Marear – (to produce nausea) to make sick, to make ill, to make seasick (boat)
Masa – (physics) mass; (group) mass, crowd; (culinary) dough, pastry, mixture
Mazmorra – dungeon
Pareja – (romantic pair) couple; (team or set of two) pair —– el pájaro – bird
Poner en fuga – to scare off
Por si acaso – just in case, in case
Que con lo que – with; that with what; than with what; with what; that what
Quincallero – ironmonger, hardware dealer
rábano – (vegetable) radish
Ratonera – (trap) mousetrap; (hole) mousehole; (dwelling) slum, hovel; (figurative) death trap
Razón – (sanity) reason; (cause) reason; (truth) right; (mathematics) ratio
Recuerdo – (recollection) memory; (keepsake) souvenir, memento
Rematar – (to end) to finish off, to conclude, to close, to round off, to cap off; (to kill) to finish off
Rubio – (hair color) blonde
Sábanas – (for a bed) sheets
Salir de estampida – to stampede, to charge, to take off
Sin más ni más – just like that
Sois – you are (of “ser”)
Soltar – (to stop holding) to let go of, to drop, to put down, to let out
Suplicio – (very unpleasant experience) torture, nightmare, ordeal; (corporal punishment) torture
Tardarse en – to take … to
Tejado – roof
Tuerto – one-eyed person
Un buen trecho – a good stretch
Untar – (to cover) to spread, to smear, to grease
Valer – (to be permitted) to be allowed