102. The Devil’s Court Case (El Juicio del Demonio)
Two young men were walking along a road, and at a bend they encountered God and the Devil asking for alms. One of them only gave alms to God, but the other gave a peseta to God and a penny to the Devil because he remembered that, as a child, he often heard a saying: “God is good, but the Devil is not bad.”
Time passed and the young man who gave the penny to the Devil went off to fulfill his military service. One day when he was very hungry and had not a coin [on him], he went to a tavern and asked the tavern owner for a couple of boiled eggs, telling him that he would pay for them as soon as he got some money from home, because he had not a penny to pay him with at that moment.
But the money did not come and the poor soldier was still broke; so the tavern-keeper, being tired of waiting for him to settle his account, reported him [to the authority].
[Note: “estar a dos velas” means “to be broke”.]
They summoned the soldier, set the court date and told him to find himself a defense attorney.
The soldier was in the worst mood in the world as he couldn’t see any way to deal with this, and he went [out] for a walk to calm his disgust [for the situation]. And he was walking when a well-dressed man, all in black, came out and said to him:
– What’s the matter with you, boy? Where are you going with that funeral face [of yours]?
– Well, what’s the matter with me – answered the crestfallen young man. And he told him the story of his debt with the tavern keeper and the court case that he had brought against him.
The man then told him:
– Come on, man, don’t you worry about such trivial matters, as in this world there’s a solution to everything! Don’t you remember that time when God and the Devil were asking for alms? Well you have me here, because I am the Devil, and as I owe you the [a] favor, I will be your defense attorney on the day of the trial.
So that the day of the trial arrived and the soldier appeared in good spirits, remembering the offer made to him by the Devil. The trial was scheduled for eleven o’clock in the morning, and as the defense attorney did not show up, they waited until eleven thirty. And at that hour, with out waiting any longer, they began the session.
The tavern keeper asked for gold payments, arguing that if those two eggs had been raised, he would have obtained two hens, the hens would have laid more eggs and from those eggs he would have obtained even more chickens, and so on to this day, in which he would be owner of hundreds of chickens and hens and [thus made] rich.
The tavern keeper’s attorney defended these reasons with such conviction that they condemned the poor soldier to pay a large amount of money, and of course, as he had not a cent, they were going to send him to prison to serve the sentence for many years.
So the trial was over and they were just opening the court [chamber]’s doors when the soldier’s defense attorney appeared. At first they refused to listen to him, but he argued that the trial was not valid if the soldier was not assisted by a defense attorney; so they closed the doors again and gave him license to speak on behalf of the soldier. And the first thing that the defense attorney said was that:
– It had taken me a long time coming here because today I had to plant [cultivate] a field of beans and before that I was cooking [boiling] them in order to sow them.
And the judge said:
– What do you mean by cooking them! I have never heard of such a thing in all my life. What fruit can be produced by cooked beans? What you say is madness [non-sense].
And the defense attorney replied:
– What fruit can they bear?: well, the same fruit that those eggs that my defendant had eaten could bear. Those eggs were cooked, and no matter how much they were incubated, no male nor female chick would come out of them; so my defendant does not have to pay more than the worth of those eggs that he ate, and at most, including the interest of that money until today, as determined by the law.
The judge, the clerks, and the rest looked at one another without knowing what to say. And since they did not know how to counter the Devil’s argument, they could only condemn the soldier to the penalty requested by his defense attorney.
And friend, this is the end of this story.
—– VOCABULARY —–
Abogado – lawyer, attorney, barrister, solicitor (does not litigate)
Aduciendo que – arguing that
Aducir – (to present evidence) to adduce (formal), to put forward, to give, to provide, to furnish
Afrontar – (to come up against) to confront, to face, to face up to; (to put up against) to bring face-to-face
Alegar – (legal) to claim, to allege; (to adduce) to cite (reason), to put forward (excuse or reason)
Alubiar – (culinary) bean; (botany) bean
Calmar – (to pacify) to calm, to calm down; (to alleviate) to relieve, to soothe, to quench (thirst)
Cárcel – (correctional institution) prison, jail; (tool) clamp
Cariacontecido – down in the mouth; crestfallen
Centenar – (quantity) hundred
Citar – (to convene) to make an appointment; (to refer) to cite, to quote; (to name) to quote, to mention; (legal) to summon, to call
Condenar – (to disapprove of) to condemn; (legal) to sentence, to convict, to condemn
Cuenta – (invoice) check, bill; (finance) account; (total) count
Dar parte – to report, to notify, to inform
Empollar – (to hatch) to brood, to incubate, to sit on; (to study hard) (Spain) to cram
En contra de – against, opposed to, contrary to, in opposition to
Juicio – (legal) trial, court case; (reason) good sense, sense, sensible; (point of view) judgment, opinion; (mental health) sanity
Juzgado – (legal) court
Liquidar – (to cancel) to settle, to pay off, to clear, to pay; (commerce) to liquidate (assets, company, etc.), to wind up
Locura – (psychology) madness, insanity; (foolishness) madness, crazy thing
Par de huevos – pair of eggs
Revuelta – (literary) (curved portion) bend, turn; (disturbance) revolt, riot; (tumult) commotion
Sacar adelante – (to provide for and give an education to) to bring up, to give a good start in life
Semejante – (alike) similar; (of such a degree) such
Señalar – (to indicate) to show, to point out; (to tag) to mark; (to mean) to signal; (to note) to point out; (to determine) to set, to fix
Taberna – tavern, bar, inn, pub
Tabernero – barowner, landlord; (server) bartender
Tardar – (to spend time) to take; (to take too much time) to take too long; (to be a while) to be long