From Cuentos Populares en Chile (Chilean Folktales) – by Ramón A. Laval
Part 1 – Magnificent Stories, Stories of Animals, Anecdotes (Cuentos maravillosos, Cuentos de animales, Anécdotas)
007. The King Has A Little Something (El Rey Tiene Cachito)
(Told by the Priest Don Osvaldo Martínez, of Santiago, in 1912)
There was a king who fell ill with a severe headache. His illness forced him to stay in bed for many days, during which time he could not attend to the governance of the kingdom. Once he got better, he found out that he had grown a little something [in the head].
The King, of course, wanted to keep this mishaps hidden from everyone; but he did not succeed, his hair grew so long that he had to seek out a barber, and so he ordered the most discreet one in the city to be brought to him.
His Ministers inspected all the barbers in the capital and finally believed that they had found the one His Majesty wanted: he was a poor man who, although he brilliantly mastered the scissors and the razor, had almost no clients as he was very reserved and extraordinarily uncommunicative; he did not speak unless it was absolutely necessary for him to do so.
From the findings of the Ministers, the King appointed him as his barber.
At the first session, the King told him that he was not to speak to anyone about his mishaps, and demanded him to swear under oath that he would not do so. The Barber swore he would not tell anyone that the King had a little something. After this, he cut the King’s hair, then left [the palace] to return in a month’s time.
The Barber had barely left the palace when he felt such anxiety as he had never felt before; and the worst thing is that this feeling of unease would not go away and he felt a need to get rid of that secret which was prickling his entire body. And here we have our man, which until then had had a peaceful life, and now had turned into the most miserable human being in the world: he could not eat, he could not sleep, he could not work, he was not in the mood for anything at all.
And even though he did not eat, he was swelling and swelling until he was as round as a large earthenware jar.
The poor man felt his strength was being sapped away, he could find anything that he wanted to do; he was sure that he would die in a couple of hours if he could not let go of his secret. But what of his oath? He was a good Christian, and for nothing in life would he sacrifice his soul.
Being desperate, the Barber went to the countryside; and here a salvation idea occurred to him. With a stake that he found, he dug up a hole and, lying with his belly on the ground, he began to yell into it: –The King has a little something! the King has a little something!– repeating the phrase no less than a hundred times; and as he said it, his stomach began to deflate. He then immediately covered the hole with the same soil he had dug out from the ground.
How much more relieved, how much more alleviated and how much thinner was he when the Barber got up! How happy he felt! A short while later he arrived at his house asking excitedly to be fed; what appetite had he! everything that was served seemed not enough to him! His wife was panicking: where could she get enough food to fill that bottomless barrel? He ate everything that he could get his hand on, anything that could be gobbled up in the house, and at last, more tired from making use of his jaws than being satisfied, he laid down to rest. It was great to see how peacefully the good man slept! He slept for two days and two nights, and got up in a happy mood, singing along and having a great desire for work. He was a new man.
The days went by, one after another, when an unexpected thing happened in a week time. The school children had gone to make a small wooden cart in the neighboring fields and ran into a bush of capachitos [e.g. slipper flowers in Chile], which had sprouted precisely in the place where the Barber had dug the hole; they plucked the little flowers, and taking them with the thumb, index, and middle fingers, they burst them on their foreheads as they were accustomed to do; but it was at this time that the flowers said:
The King has a little something!
The children were astonished by this marvelous turn of event, so they brought home all the remaining capachitos and repeated the process, and the capachitos always said: –The King has a little something!
There could be no doubt about the news, and it spread like wildfire: in a short time the whole city knew about it. And so much and so fast did it spread that it reached the ears of the King.
The King summoned the Barber and harshly apostrophized him, telling that that he would make him pay with his life for his indiscretion. The Barber respectfully replied: –Sir, I swore to Your Majesty that I would not tell your secret to anyone and I have kept my words, for up until now I have not said it to a living soul. What fault have I when it was the capachitos who went around proclaiming the secret to the four winds?
By the way, he took care to tell him what he had done, and since there were no witnesses who’d testify against him, the King had to pardon him.
—– VOCABULARY —–
Cachito – (colloquial) (small piece) a bit, a little; (short period of time) (Bolivia) minute
Peluquero – (profession) hairdresser, hairstylist, barber (for men)
Revista – (publication) magazine, review (formal), journal (formal); (show) revue, variety show; (review) inspection; (military) muster; (legal) retrial
Revistar – (military) to review, to inspect
Magistralmente – brilliantly
Exigir – (to order) to demand; (to necessitate) to call for, to require; (taxes) to levy
Desasosiego – (restlessness) unease, feeling of unease, sense of unease, anxiety
Malestar – (physical state) discomfort; (worry) uneasiness, unease, malaise
Hormiguear – (to have a prickling sensation) to tingle; (to be crowded with; used with “de”) to swarm with, to teem with
Hinchar – (to puff up) to inflate, to blow up, to pump up; (to overemphasize) to blow up, to exaggerate; hincharse – (to bloat) to swell up, to swell; (to be filled with pride) to swell with pride; (to fill up) to stuff oneself
Tinaja – large earthenware jar
Desfallecer – (to lose consciousness) to faint, to pass out; (to lose strength) to become weak, to flag, to fail (strength)
Estaca – (pointed stick) stake, post, peg (of a tent)
Hoyo – (opening) hole; (hollow in the ground) hole, pit
Barriga – (anatomy) stomach, belly, tummy
Desahogado – (well-off) comfortable, comfortably off; (uncluttered) spacious; (not tight) loose-fitting; (not overwhelmed) relaxed
Flaco – (slim) thin, skinny; (poor); (literary) (weak) feeble
Desaforadamente – wildly, outrageously, like crazy
Tonel – (keg) barrel, cask; (fat person) fatty, butterball
Pillar – (to grab) to catch, to get; (to capture) to catch; (to surprise) to catch
Engullir – (to devour) to gobble (food), to gobble up (food), to wolf down (food), to guzzle (liquids)
Mandíbulas – (anatomy) jaw, mandible (lower)
Placidez – placidness, placidity, calmness
Chancha – (fund) (Peru) collection; (colloquial) (vehicle) (Chile) bike; (little wagon) (Andes) small wooden cart
Capacho – wicker basket
Reventar – (to break with pressure) to burst; (to explode) to blow up, to shatter (glass); (to cause to fail) to ruin, to spoil, to disrupt, to wreck, to break up (a gathering); (to bother) to annoy, to piss off; (to finish off) to ride into the ground; (to hit) to beat the living daylights out of, to punch; (to exhaust) to wear out, to tire out
Estallar – (to blow up) to explode, to erupt, to go off; (to break) to burst, to shatter, to blow out, to crash (waves)
Prodigio – (gifted) prodigy; (something incredible) wonder, prodigy, marvel; (religious) miracle
Cundir – (to grow) to spread; (to produce a good quantity) to go a long way; (to be profitable); to go well
Apostrofar – to apostrophize, to deliver an apostrophe (an exclamatory speech) to someone, especially someone not present
Respetuosamente – respectfully