115. The King’s Chef (El Cocinero Del Rey)
Once upon a time, in the days when birds had teeth, there was a rich and powerful king who was in the habit of frequently strolling through his gardens. One day on one of those strolls, he met a little old lady who greeted him with affection and gifted him a snake that she had with her:
Once cooked, if you eat it, you will understand the language of animals.
As soon as the king entered [returned to] the palace, he called his chef to entrust him with cooking the snake. He also warned him not to taste it, for if he did, he would notice right away and would have him hanged on the gallows. The chef believed that he was given an eel and did not realize that it was a snake; in any case, he didn’t attach any importance to the king’s warning and thought [to himself]: “Every chef worth his salt must taste what he is cooking.”
So without thinking twice, convinced that the king would not notice, he took a bite of the [snake] stew. He had not finished eating when he heard two flies in the kitchen saying to one another:
What I like best is the romesco [sauce].
Well, I prefer scrambled eggs.
And also the sausages.
I like a good ratatouille better.
The chef was amazed at what just happened and immediately understood why the king did not want him to taste the stew. When the stew was ready, the chef presented it to the king, who, as soon as he tasted it, heard two birds perching on the window sill saying to one another:
How many eggs do you have in your nest?
Seven. And you?
Eight.
The chef remained still for a little [while] when he heard the birds, and that made the king realized that he had understood them, and thus, had disobeyed his orders. But he [the king] said nothing, as he wanted to catch him with [full] evidence.
The next day the king went riding on his horse and was accompanied by the chef. And lo and behold, as they rode together, one horse said to the other:
What do you think if we gallop for a little bit and stretch our legs?
That’s impossible while I’ve got this senile old man on me – answered the king’s horse -. He has more years than wrinkles, and the moment that I move a little too much, he’ll fall to the ground like a sack. You, on the other hand, could gallop, because you’re carrying a brave and valiant young man on you.
It took the chef great effort to contain his laughter and the king, who looked at him at that moment, understood from the chef’s faces that he had understood the horses’ conversation. His mood turned sour and he returned to the palace without saying a single word.
At lunch time, he called for the chef and said to him:
Fill this cup of wine to the brim and make sure to not spill a single drop because your life depends on it.
And it happened that, while he was pouring wine into the cup, two birds passed by, [where] one of which had in its beak three golden hair strands, and its companion said:
Give me one of those golden hair strands, for you [will] still have two remaining.
No, I’ll keep all three, for that’s why I took them when the maiden with the golden hair was combing her hair and braiding it. You should have taken them [, too].
As it spoke, the bird who was carrying the hair strands dropped one of them on the ground, which was truly [made out of] gold, and the king became very excited on seeing it. The chef, [on the other hand, was] distracted by the birds’ conversation, [totally] forgot [about] the king’s warning and spilled the wine out of the cup, staining the tablecloth [in the process].
The king, on seeing the mess, said to him:
You have betrayed me by disobeying my orders and now you understand the language of the animals. The conversation between those birds had distracted you and you have spilled the wine. I would have to hang you for that, but I am [now] willing to reconsider this if you [can] bring me that maiden with the golden hair.
The poor chef, in order to save his life, had no other choice but to travel this world created by God to see if he could find that maiden, of whom he knew nothing [about] and whose whereabouts he [also] did not know. As he did not know which road to take either, he decided to tempt fate: he took a handful of dirt, threw it in the air and went in that direction indicated by the wind.
After riding for a long time, he arrived at a thick forest where he stopped to rest. As he laid there, he noticed that a tree was burning and the fire threatened to spread to the ant hills found at its base. He heard desperate shouts from the ants asking for help, because if their homes were burnt down, they would lose everything. The chef took pity on them and put out the fire, averting the danger. The ants [then] came out of their homes to give him their thanks, and their queen said to the chef:
Whenever you found yourself in a predicament from which we can get you out [of], you need only sing:
Little ants, little ants
Come together and lend a hand
To the one who had saved you
Now will you gladly help the man.
The chef, satisfied with his good deed, continued on his way. A little further down the road he found a pair of crows crying in despair because they had lost their mother and still did not know how to fly, and [thus] could not get food [for themselves]. The chef took pity on those animals who were going to starve to death from helplessness, so he killed his horse and left the body to them so that they would have food.
[Nguyen: poor horse ='( ]
The grateful crows said to him:
Whenever you need us, you’d need only sing:
Little crows, little crows
Come together and lend a hand
To the one who had saved you
Now will you gladly help the man.
The chef, again satisfied with his good deed, continued on his way on foot. When he arrived at the sea, he found two fishermen on the beach who were pulling out from their nets a fish that shone as if it were made of diamonds. And one of them said:
This fish is mine, as it is in my nets.
No, it is mine, because the nets were in my boat.
No, it is mine; [for] I will give you the next one that I catch.
No, it is mine; you can have the next catch.
Well then let us split it in half.
Uhmm no.
The chef, on seeing that they could not agree, said to them:
The best thing you could do is to sell it to me and split the money.
The fishermen agreed and the chef gave them the four gold coins that the king had given him for the trip. [Then] the chef took hold of the fish and threw it into the sea, [whereupon] the fish dove in happily and immediately stuck its head out and said to the chef:
I want to thank you for the favor that you have done me; so whenever you need me, you’d need only sing:
Fish, little fish
Being very grateful
Come and lend a hand
To he who had saved you.
The fishermen, who did not understand what the fish had said to him, began to chat with the chef and asked him where he was heading to. He told them that he did not know, for he was in search of the maiden with the golden hair, whose whereabouts was unknown to him. And it turned out that the fishermen knew. She was the daughter of a king of a faraway island on the high seas; and they also told him that, if he wished, they could take him there as a token of gratitude for the gold coins he had given them. So in a [short] moment they rigged the boat and set sail until they reached the island.
As soon as he reached the island, the chef went to the king and told him that he had come on behalf of the [other] king, his lord, to ask for the hand of his daughter, the maiden with the golden hair, because the [other] king, his lord, wanted to marry her.
The king of the island answered him thus:
Very well, I will hand my daughter to you to marry your lord, but first you must pass three tests that I will tell you. If you pass them, you can take my daughter away, but if not, I will hang you from the highest tower. Go back and sleep now and tomorrow I will tell you what to do.
The following day, the chef appeared before the king and was told:
One day, when my daughter, the maiden with the golden hair, was walking in the forest, the thread of her necklace with seven thousand pearls was broken and they were scattered throughout the forest. Before noon you must bring them all to me without missing a single one.
The chef was very worried, but he soon remembered the offer made by the little ants and called them with the song:
Little ants, little ants
Come together and lend a hand
To the one who had saved you
Now will you gladly help the man.
And so thousands and thousands of ants appeared at the command of the queen, who asked the chef:
What do you want from us?
The chef explained the test that the king had given him, and the ant queen replied:
Bah, that for us is very easy.
And in the blink of an eye the ants scattered throughout the forest and brought back all the little pearls without missing a single one. The chef strung them together to make the necklace and presented it to the king, who was very satisfied [with what he saw].
The next day, the chef returned to see the king and the king said this to him:
It has been many years since the great-grandfather of my great-grandfather lost a ring in the sea. You must bring it to me before noon or I will have you hanged from the highest tower.
The chef, [being] anxious, remembered the fish’s offer and he called for it to come to his aid. So he sang the fish’s song:
Fish, little fish
Being very grateful
Come and lend a hand
To he who had saved you.
The fish appeared and said to him:
Tell me what you desire and you will be served.
The chef [then] explained his test to it and the fish replied:
Wait [here], I’ll return soon.
It dove [into the water] and, after a short while, reappeared with the ring belonging to the great-grandfather of the great-grandfather of the king in its mouth. [And] the king was very satisfied and sent him [back] to sleep and rest.
The next morning the chef returned to see the king again, and the king told him:
Here is the third test, and if you pass it, I will give you my daughter to take her back to the king, your lord. You have to bring me two gourds, one filled with the water of life, and the other filled with the water of death. Let’s see if you are capable of finding the sources from where they sprang, because I have never known [their locations].
This time the chef was truly worried, for if the king did not know, who would? Despite all that, he called on the ravens (crows) to his aid, who came as soon as they hear his song [singing]. The chef explained to them what the king had asked [of him] and the two crows said:
Precisely those fountains spring at the foot of the tree where we sleep; wait for us here and we will bring you the water of life and the water of death.
They each took a gourd, and in the time of saying “Amen” they brought them back full [to the brim]. The chef, pleased and satisfied, presented himself to the king and gave them [the gourds] to him, demanding that he now hand over his daughter. But the king, who was very crafty, instead of handing over his daughter, suggested this:
You have passed my three tests, which were very difficult. But I am not going to hand my daughter over to you, you are going to take her [yourself]. I have twenty one daughters, but only one, the one you have come here for, has golden hair. I will show them all to you with their hair well covered and you will have to find her among the others; and if you cannot find her, you will leave [here] without her.
The chef felt lost and thought that, after all this, the efforts he had made would have been for nought. The king led him to the refectory (e.g. cafeteria) where they met the twenty one princesses eating around a table. All had their hair well covered that not a single hair was visible. The chef was totally discouraged on seeing them like this, but lo and behold, suddenly a fly landed next to his ear and said to him:
Don’t you worry. I will fly around them all and land on the head of the maiden that you’re looking for. Pay close attention to where I land and you’ll guess correctly.
The fly began to hover about until it landed on one of the princesses. The princess tried to scare it away, but the fly did not move from her head. Then the chef pretended to look attentively at all of them, and finally said to the king, pointing at the one whom the fly landed on:
This is the maiden with the golden hair.
The king was astonished at the confidence with which the chef spoke, and, as “a king’s word is the law”, he had no choice but to let him take her away, much as it annoyed him.
The chef, without wasting any more time, set out on his return journey with the golden-hair maiden to present to the king, his lord. The king was overjoyed and ordered preparations to be made for the wedding. And once his instructions had been carried out, he said to the chef:
You have fulfilled what I asked of you and I am very grateful to you [for that]; but remember that you had disobeyed my order and betrayed me, for which you deserve the death penalty. However, I [do] owe you a favor, so that instead of hanging you as a slave, I will have you beheaded as a lord.
Pleas coming from the maiden were of no use and the chef was beheaded by order of the king. The maiden, completely saddened, [then] asked the king for the chef’s body. The king laughed [at the request], and thinking that she could do little with a dead man’s body, gave it to her.
The maiden put the chef’s head together with the [main] body and sprinkled him with the water of death; and once the cadaver was dry, she sprinkled him again with the water of life and the chef came back to life younger and stronger than he was before. When the king saw him, he was filled with enthusiasm and said that they should do the same to him, so as to transform him into a handsome young man and to leave behind the old, wrinkled self that he was. So they first beheaded the king, and when they were going to sprinkle him [with magic water], they took the wrong gourd and poured the water of life first and later the water of death, with which he remained quite dead. When they wanted to wash him again to fix the damage, they found that there was no [magic] water left in either gourd.
Then the chef and the princess got married, and she was much happier than she would have been had she married the old king. Moreover, [it was] the chef who had been the one to have
made the sacrifices and efforts to get her.
And they lived [together] very happily for many years. And surely, if they have not died yet, it’s because they are very old [by now], and if they are not very old [by now], it’s because they have already died.
—– VOCABULARY —–
Acabar de – (used to express immediate action) just (adverb); (to complete) to finish
Acertar – (to identify accurately) to get right, to guess correctly; (to find the mark) to hit the target; (to be right); (to discover) to find; (to be able to) to manage to
Agarrar – (to grasp with the hands) to grab, to take, to take hold of, to grip (with force)
Aguerrido – (military) battle-hardened, hardened; (experienced) veteran; (brave) valiant
Alféizar – windowsill, sill
Almorzar – to eat lunch, to have lunch
A menudo – (with frequency) often, frequently
Anguila – (animal) eel; (culinary) eel
Apagar – (to disconnect) to turn off, to switch off, to put out; (to cause to stop burning) to put out, to blow out, to extinguish; (to satisfy) to quench
Aparejar – (to arrange) to get ready, to prepare; (to bridle) to harness, to saddle; (nautical) to rig
Apuro – (difficulty) predicament, difficult situation
Arrugar – (to rumple) to wrinkle, to crease, to crumple (paper); (to pucker) to knit (to brow)
Asombrado – astonished, amazed
Bisabuelo – great-grandfather
Cabalgar – (to ride horseback) to ride, to go riding; (to impregnate) to cover, to mount
Calabaza – (fruit) pumpkin, squash; (container) gourd; dar calabazas a alguien – to turn sbdy down
Chocho – senile; (sentimental) doting, sentimental
Collar – (jewelry) necklace, chain; (for animals) collar; (plumage) collar, ruff;
Conducir – (to guide) to lead; (to transport) to carry; (to manage) to run; (to result in) to lead, to drive; (to operate) to drive; conducirse – (to act) to behave, to conduct oneself
Conjurar – (to ward off) to avert; (to perform an exorcism) to exorcise; (to invoke a supernatural being) to conjure; (to scheme) to conspire, to plot
Con todo – (with the totality of) with all, with everything; (in spite of everything) despite everything, with everything, all the same, still
Contrariar – (to oppose) to contradict, to go against, to oppose; (to displease) to upset, to annoy
Convencer – (to coax) to convince, to persuade; (to satisfy); (to coax oneself) to convince oneself
Cuco – (animal) cuckoo; (colloquial) (sneaky) (Spain) crafty, sly; (colloquial) (sweet) cute, pretty
Derramar – (to knock from its container) to spill; (to emit) to shed; (to disseminate) to spread
Desanimarse – (to sadden) to get discouraged, to become discouraged, to lose heart; desanimar – (to dishearten) to discourage
Desconocer – (to not have knowledge of) to not know; (to not be familiar with) to not know
Desperdigarse – (to become separated) to scatter; desperdigar – (to disseminate) to scatter, to disperse
Desposar – (to join in matrimony) to marry
Distraer – (to prevent from concentrating) to distract; (to help pass the time) to entertain, to enjoy
Embutido – (culinary) sausage, cold cut; (act of filling) stuffing; (inlaid work) inlay
Emprender – (to take up) to undertake; (to initiate) to start (work), to start up (a business)
Enfilar – (to put in a line) to line up, to put in a row; (to direct) to aim; (to pass thread through) to thread, to string; (to go straight down) to go straight along
Esfuerzo – (use of force) effort; (physics) force; (engineering) stress
Espantar – (to make afraid) to frighten, to scare; (to drive away) to frighten away; (to horrify) to appall; (to make afraid) to be scary, to be frightening
Estirar – (to extend) to stretch, to stretch out, to crane; (to make go further) to stretch, to make last
Estropicio – (colloquial) (destruction) damage, havoc, real mess, breakage, smashing;
Exigir – (to order) to demand; (to necessitate) to call for, to require; (taxes) to levy
Galopar – (to move at a gallop) to gallop
Guisar – (act of cooking) (Spain) to cook, to stew
Hogar – (residence) home; (shared living space) household; (part of a chimney) fireplace, hearth
Horca – (execution device) gallows, gibbet; (agriculture) pitchfork, hayfork
Inquieto – (unsettled) restless; (concerned) anxious, worried
Manar – (to pour out) to flow, to run; (literary) (to be plentiful) to abound
Mancharse – (to sully) to get dirty; (to discredit oneself) to tarnish oneself, to dirty oneself
Mantel – (cover) tablecloth; (religious) altar cloth
Merecer – (to merit) to deserve, to be worth; (to be worthy) to be deserving
Mosca – (animal) fly; (colloquial) (money) dough
Navegar – (to travel by vessel) to sail (ship), to fly (plane)
Nido – (nesting or breeding place) nest; (lair) den; (area for newborns) nursery
Paradero – (location) whereabouts; (finish) end
Pésimo – (very bad) terrible, awful, lousy, dreadful
Pesque – I fish (yo form of pescar)
Pillarse – (to pinch) to catch; pillar – (to grab) to catch, to get; (to capture) to catch
Pisto – (vegetable hash) (Spain) ratatouille; (soup) chicken broth; (jumble) hotchpotch, hodgepodge
Plantear – (to propose) to suggest; (to lay out) to bring up, to set out, to raise; (to establish) to create, to pose; plantearse – to consider, to think about; (to come up) to arise
Precie – self-respecting; salt; worthy; boasts; serious
Probar – (to trial) to try, to test, to try out; (culinary) to taste, to try; (to demonstrate) to prove
Procurar – (to make an attempt) to try; (to endeavor) to make sure; (to give) to provide; procurarse – (to get) to obtain
Proseguir – (to carry on) to continue, to proceed, to go on, to persist (weather); (to carry on with, often used with “con”) to continue, to proceed with, to go on with, to pursue
Próximo – (following) next; (indicating closeness) close, near
Refectorio – refectory; A refectory is a dining room, especially in monasteries, boarding schools and academic institutions. One of the places the term is most often used today is in graduate seminaries. The name derives from the Latin reficere “to remake or restore,” via Late Latin refectorium, which means “a place one goes to be restored”.
Revivir – (to live again) to revive, to come back to live; (to reappear) to revive, to be reincarnated
Revuelto – (messy) upside down, mixed up; (blended) scrambled, mixed; (weather) unsettled, rough; (culinary) scrambled eggs
Rociar – (to spatter) to spray, to sprinkle (with oil or lemon juice), to douse (with gasoline); (to accompany) to wash down with;
Rocío – (weather) dew
Romesco – Romesco is a tomato-based sauce that originated from Valls, province of Tarragona, in the Spanish region of Catalonia. The fishermen in this area made this sauce to be eaten with fish. It is typically made from any mixture of roasted tomatoes and garlic, toasted almonds, pine nuts, and/or hazelnuts, olive or sunflower oil, and ñora peppers
Ruego – (request) plea; (religious) prayer
Seco – (lacking moisture) dry, dried (food); (of few words) terse; (ironic) dry; (blow) dry
Señal – (indication) sign, signal, mark; (electronics) signal, tone (telephone); (financial) (Spain) deposit
Servir – (to be of use) to be useful; (to have a purpose) to be used for; (to function as) to serve as; (to work as a servant) to be in service
Siervo – (thrall) slave (in ancient times), serf (in Middle Ages); (figurative) (person serving) servant; (religious) servant
Sumergir – to submerge
Superar – (to overtake) to overcome, to go beyond; (to emotionally overcome) to get over, to get past; (to succeed in) to pass; superarse – (to improve oneself) to better oneself
Tentar – (to entice) to tempt; (to examine by touch) to feel; (to test) to try
Tentar a la suerte – luck; to tempt fate; tempt fate; try their luck
Traicionar – (to be disloyal) to betray; (to reveal) to betray, to give away
Trenzar – (to interweave) to braid
Ufano – (pleased) proud; (vain) smug, boastful, conceited, self-satisfied, pleased with oneself
Verter – (to move into or out of a container) to pour; (to tip accidentally or uncontrollably) to spill