089. Truths of the Boatman (Las Verdades del Barquero)
Once upon a time there was a man who spent all his day gambling and always lost his shirt. Desperate at the ruin he was falling into as a result of his addiction, he decided to throw himself into the sea and end it once and for all. So there he was on a rock, getting ready to dive in head first, when a man appeared before him and spoke to him in this way:
– What is it that you are going to do, wretch?
– It’s that everything is going badly for me – said the other – because I spent my day gambling and always lost. I have nothing left to lose other than what I’m wearing, so it is the same to me whether I am alive or dead. This is why I [want to] kill myself.
– Well, well – said the man – don’t take it to heart (e.g. too hard), as there’s a remedy for everything in this world. If you want, I will give you a deck of cards that will make you win every time; and you will win so much money that in only a few days you will be so rich that you won’t even know what you have.
– Well, – said the gambler – and what is it that you want in exchange?
– Nothing at all – said the man -. You will only be obliged to come to my house and return the cards to me in seven years, counting from today.
– Well, if there is no other condition than that, it’s a deal.
And so they made the deal.
The gambler understood at once that he was dealing with the devil, but, as he was smart, he thought that he would find a way to complete [his end of] the deal without falling into the hands of the other. Moreover, the pleasure of gambling in those seven years without losing seemed to him the pinnacle [height] of happiness.
Time passed and seven years flew by, so it was already time to return the deck of cards to the devil. The man took the deck, put it in a bag much larger than would have been necessary to transport it and, as there was a lot of room left, he stuffed it with hair until it cannot fit any more. Then he went on his way to hell. He walked for a long time until arriving at the bank of a river. This river had a peculiarity and it was that, once someone crossed it, he could not (re-)cross it again and would remain on the other bank forever. The boatman was tranquilly resting on the bank and, as soon as he saw the gambler approaching, he offered to take him to the other side. The gambler climbed onto the boat and the boatman dropped him off at the other [opposite] bank. Then he said to the gambler:
– Now pay me for the service.
– I would pay you on the return trip – said the gambler.
– That’s impossible – claimed the boatman – because he who crosses this river cannot cross it again; he who goes, does not return; so that, as I am unable to take you back, you have to pay me now or, if not, it’s you who intends to rip me off.
Well I am unable to pay you because I haven’t got a cent and not because I’m a swindler. And if I cannot cross the river again when I return from my trip, you won’t be able to know what the three truths are, and these are what you would lose [e.g. miss out on].
– But what are you saying! – the boatman immediately protested -. Yes, precisely, I have spent my whole life, and I have had thousands of years, waiting to know what the three truths are and, in all that time, regardless of how hard I searched, I had not found anyone who could tell me these. It’s nothing, it’s nothing, go on your trip and return here afterwards, I will gladly cross the river once more for you so I can get to know them.
So the gambler was on his way and finally ended up at the gate of hell.
– Bam! Bam! – he knocked on the door, and immediately a demon porter came to open it and asked him:
– What is it that you want?
– Well, nothing – said the gambler – [it’s just] that I’ve come to bring this bag of hair.
– Hair? Well you can go back [to where you came from] with that because we don’t want it here. We have enough hair already.
– You see, I bring this on behalf of the chief who, precisely seven years ago, told me to bring it here without fail.
– You must be confused. Who are you asking for?
– Well it’s for the Fallen Angel.
– No angel lives here. You are confused, because this is neither heaven nor any angel lives here.
– So … – the gambler asked again – you don’t want the bag?
– Go to hell, we have more than enough hair here – replied the demon, slamming the door in his face.
So the gambler retraced his steps and returned to the river. And there the boatman was waiting for him, anxious to know the truths. And as soon as he saw him, he said to the gambler:
– Remember that you have promised to tell me the three truths.
– A deal is a deal – said the gambler -. The first truth I will tell you when I get on the boat; the second, in the middle of the trip; and the third, when I get on the other shore.
– Well then – said the boatman -. Get on the boat and you can tell me the first truth.
– Well the first truth is this: “Hard, hard bread is worth more coins than none at all.”
[Note: Original text is “Pan duro, duro, más vale duro que no ninguno.” It is a play on the word “duro”, which means ‘hard’ and ‘an old Spanish coin’ at the same time.]
– True it is – said the boatman.
The boatman continued to row and row hard until he reached the middle of the river. And once there, he lifted the oars and said:
– Now you can tell me the second truth.
– Well the second truth is this: “Bad, bad shoes are better in the feet than in the hands.”
– True it is – said the boatman.
And the boatman, once more rowed and rowed to reach the shore as soon as possible and be able to know the third truth. And when they got there, he said:
– What is the third truth?
And the gambler replied, jumping to the ground [shore]:
– The third truth is this: “If you do the same thing to everyone as you did to me, tell me, boatman, what are you doing here?”
[Note: original Spanish text is “Si a todos pasas como a mí, dime, barquero, ¿qué haces aquí?” I’m not sure how best to translate this, or what it truly means. Maybe the gambler wants to point out that the boatman would have become so wise that he needs not do this job anymore?]
– That is indeed the truth and it will serve as a lesson for me – said the satisfied boatman.
The gambler went on his way home calm and collected, and it happened that the devil was waiting for him there. The devil was in a foul mood and, as soon as he saw him, he said:
– Here I am waiting for you, because you have not kept your end of the deal that we made seven years ago.
– What are you saying? – the gambler protested -. Of course I have kept my end of the deal! I carried the deck of cards to the very gate of hell, and your underlings did not want to take it, even though I told them I had come on your order, as it was the fulfillment of a deal made seven years ago.
– Now I have caught you, liar, because, if you had gone to the gate of hell as you say, you would have crossed a river; and you have not crossed this river because, once crossed, you cannot cross it again, so that you would not be here [now].
– What do you mean? – replied the gambler.
– Because the boatman only deliver those who go, but not those who return – said the devil.
– Except for me – said the gambler -, that he delivered me on my return trip because on departing I promised him that, if he took me to cross on my return trip, I would tell him the three truths.
As soon as he said this, he heard a terrifying thunderclap that trembled the earth, followed by a great flame that swallowed the furious devil; and the whole place had a sulfuric smell, which lasted a full day before going away.
—– VOCABULARY —–
Acabar de – (to complete) to finish; (used to express immediate action) just (adverb)
Afición – (penchant; often used with “por” or “a”) fondness, liking, love; (amusement) hobby, pastime
Alegar – (legal) to claim, to allege; (to adduce) to cite (a reason), to put forward (excuse or reason)
Azufre – sulfur
Barquero – boatman
Bogar – to row
Campante – cool as a cucumber
Colmo – (limit) height
Cómo que no – what do you mean?
Confundido – (bewildered) confused; (wrong) mistaken
Cuanto antes – as soon as possible
Cuerno – horn, antler (of deer), feeler (of a snail)
Depositar – (to drop) to leave, to deposit; (to entrust) to place, to put
Desandar – to retrace, to go back along
Desdichado – (wretched) unhappy, unlucky, unfortunate
Disponerse a – to get ready, to prepare; disponer – (to place) to arrange, to set out
Duro – (old Spanish coin) five-peseta coin
Echado – (resting) lying down
Espeluznante – (frightening) terrifying, hair-raising, horrifying, horrific, blood-curdling
Estafar – to defraud, to swindle; to rip off, to con
Llamarada – (sudden flames) sudden blaze, flare-up, blaze
Lección – lesson
Mentiroso – (deceitful) lying, liar
Nada de nada – nothing at all
Placer – (satisfaction) pleasure; (to satisfy) to please
Por culpa de – because of; as a result of
Por más que – (regardless of) no matter how
Portero – (door attendant) porter, concierge, doorman
Pretender – (to want) to intend, to expect; (to court) to woo
Que lo que – that what, what
Rellenar – (to fill again) to refill; (to put material in) to stuff, to fill
Remo – (paddle) oar; (sport) rowing
Ribera – bank (of a river), shore (of the sea); (area) riverside
Roca – rock
Señorón – big shot; portly, matronly
Servir – (to be of use) to be useful
Sobra – (overabundance) excess, surplus
Talante – (temper) mood; (willingness) disposition
Tardar – (to spend time) to take; (to take too much time) to take too long; (to be a while) to be long
Tomar tan a pecho – take it this hard; take so much to heart
Tragar – (to ingest) to swallow; (to absorb) to soak up
Trueno – (weather) thunderclap, thunder, clap of thunder
Verdad – (veracity) truth; (reality) fact